New Releases: 3/1/13

First of all, OMG IT'S MARCH ALREADY!!! Secondly, I can't believe how oblivious I am to upcoming new releases. I had to look up trailers for almost all of these because I knew little to nothing about them. And I really wouldn't have minded staying in the dark.

Jack the Giant Slayer
The "revamping" of our beloved fairytales over the last few years hasn't once proven to have been a good thing. Despite the above average cast, I don't see Jack changing that. It looks like another retelling infused with more subplots and action to drag the whole thing out far longer than it needs to be for a children's story, but in no way for children at all. I'll just read the story to my kids instead...and eventually check this out on dvd.

21 and Over
Is this 2013's Project X? I didn't bother seeing Project X, mind you, but I heard plenty of awful things about it, and this looks to be of the same ilk. And it's pretty sad when the most recognizable face is the annoying kid from the Twilight franchise. (I know that doesn't narrow it down.)

Well, this looks all kinds of messed up, but I'm intrigued, despite my lack of love, or even like, for the cast. Still with Park's direction and Wentworth Miller as the screenwriter, it at least has all the elements to be seen just out of pure curiosity. Alas, it did not come anywhere near me, but we got Phantom. (See below.)

Something about a Soviet submarine during the Cold War loosely based on a true story, blah, blah, blah...I just saw K-19: The Widowmaker, thanks. Therefore, I've filled my Russian Cold War Sub Film quota for awhile. Oh, and this just looks bad. At least they're not butchering the Russian accent (ahem, Mr. Ford and Mr. Neeson).

The Last Exorcism Part II
I don't watch exorcism films, but if I did I'd still mock this one for being the sequel to a "last" anything. Seriously, if you know you're going to make a sequel, don't put "last" in the title. It opens you up to a world of ridicule.


  1. It's still the last exorcism...just the second part.

    ...but there's no excuse for Final Fantasy II (through 17 or whatever they're up to now) or I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (which was really 2 summers ago).

    1. The Last Exorcism...continued. How long does an exorcism take? You nailed it with I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer. Ridiculous title.


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